Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
