Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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