why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
