Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
