I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
