I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
