I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize
