He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
