How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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