He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
