Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
