what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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