just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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