I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
