the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
