dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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