her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
