I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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