no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
