i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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