her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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