I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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