she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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