I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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