we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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