We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
