New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
