I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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