I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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