My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
