READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
