Whod you bang
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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