ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I supernannyed him into submission
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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