Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
