Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
