i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
