New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
