I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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