YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
