OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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