Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
