i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
