She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
