Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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