Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
