I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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