I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
