u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
