He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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