super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
