I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
