i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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